Depleted. Zapped. Exhausted. Burned out.
These are the words that have been circulating in my head for the last few weeks, okay actually months. We are all tired from navigating the pandemic; from vaccines to the delta variant to masks. We are all tired of having to make choices about how to handle ourselves when it comes to these topics. Do I wear a mask into this store even though I am vaccinated? How do I approach my unvaccinated friend who wants to grab lunch? What if I am comfortable with get togethers without masks but my friend isn’t?
The constant swirl of decision making has me burned out. My body even feels physically depleted.
I have realized this feeling of burnout most during sessions. My mind is searching for some sort of helpful feedback to share. Luckily, I have somehow maintained my compassion for my clients, who like me, are burning the candle at both ends. I feel like I am wading through a dark tunnel trying to find my way to the light and I am sure it feels the same for them. Lately, I have left sessions feeling like I have wasted their time and money feeling like I can barely navigate their issues with them. I imagine I am more helpful and empathetic than I think but this is where the burnout really kicks you in the pants. Even when you are doing your absolute best, you still feel like you are failing.
I have been reading a lot lately about burn out and how our culture is seemingly perpetuating this particular issue that knows no bounds, profession, and person. While this issue is not pandemic related, the pandemic has only perpetuated this struggle. What exactly is burnout? The World Health Organization defines it as: “a syndrome conceptualized as resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed. It is characterized by three dimensions:
feelings of energy depletion or exhaustion;
increased mental distance from one’s job, or feelings of negativism or cynicism related to one's job; and
reduced professional efficacy. ; it is actually included in the International Classification of Diseases as an Occupational Phenomenon, although it is not actually a medical condition. “
Culturally, the expectation of many of us (all of us, really) is to work and work and work. When you are not working you should be producing something whether that be a hobby or reading or doing a side hustle or cooking or following up on all of those tasks that you have not done in 5 years because you keep putting them off (for me, it’s paint the chipped crown molding in my house, repaint the fireplace, go through my kids’ toys, order Christmas gifts, meal plan… I mean the list goes on and on.)
When will it be enough? How do I stop this out of control train!?
I have worked hard these last few weeks to set boundaries. Boundaries around my time, my energy, and my space. Here are some examples:
1) I ask myself when a friend texts to chat or hangout “Is this how I want to spend my time? How am I valuing this time?
2) What am I looking for when I am haphazardly scrolling instagram? Maybe a text to a friend to connect is better instead.
3) Is my space clean? If I tidy up will that clear my mind or is this a moment that I am needing to exert control and going outside with my kids is a better plan?
Honestly, I am just applying mindfulness to my time and how I am choosing to spend it. Time in a sense, needs to have a budget because we only have so much and at some point we can go in the red. I am thinking about my time more like a bank account. If I spent this time here with this friend or client then I don’t have this time left for family. if I choose to spend my quiet morning time scrolling instagram (anyone sensing a pattern here!?) then I won’t get to have those minutes to meditate. See the pattern here?
Obviously this is a total work in progress but just being more proactive is the best first step to managing my burnout and stress. Sharing with my friends about my struggles and feeling validated and loved is helpful as well as journaling about what I am experiencing has been really helpful, too. Best of luck on your own burnout to joy path…
