When will this end? Will we find relief soon? How much longer will we have to live like this? I don’t know if I can keep on living like this.
These are all sentiments I have heard from clients and that I have undoubtedly said to myself over the course of the last 9 months. I am exhausted. I want to quit some days and hide in my room. Some days are better than others but some days are just plain tough.
Several months ago I read an article from the online website Elemental about making it through this disaster (https://elemental.medium.com/your-surge-capacity-is-depleted-it-s-why-you-feel-awful-de285d542f4c) The Coronavirus pandemic feels quite different from other disasters, like a tornado or a fire, because there is a light at the end of the tunnel when things are cleaned up and we can actively put our lives back together. But with this virus, we have no end in sight. The article quotes Dr. Ann Master, a child development researcher and professor at the University of Minnesota.
“I think we maybe underestimate how severe the adversity is and that people may be experiencing a normal reaction to a pretty severe and ongoing, unfolding, cascading disaster,” Masten says. “It’s important to recognize that it’s normal in a situation of great uncertainty and chronic stress to get exhausted and to feel ups and downs, to feel like you’re depleted or experience periods of burnout.”
The effects are rippling; from schools to work to how we see our families. While there is a vaccine in the works, I don't know how quickly it will provide relief to the shuttering restaurants and businesses locally. Not having this light at the end of the tunnel feels much heavier because we are not sure how to manage and expend energy as much move through the days and months of quarantine.
The constant support and validation of all types of responses to this disaster is important. I also need to remind myself that my own sadness, isolation, and struggles are normal as well. Everyone is experiencing this in their own and unique way and that is okay.
One reminder I like to share is that we have never had to deal with a worldwide emergency like this before so of course we don’t know how to respond. Of course it is okay to feel depressed, anxious, unsure, and needing to find some solace somewhere, anywhere. How do we know if it is okay to date during this time? Meet a friend for coffee or only feel comfortable to meet via Zoom? We all have different levels of comfort and how much we are willing to take the risk of exposure and that is okay. For some it is none while others it is okay to meet outside for a socially distanced coffee.
Leaving the judgement behind and accepting that we are all responding differently is very important. I think that will help us individually to lessen our sense of anxiety and frustration with this whole thing.
One thing I know for sure when it comes to this part of our lives is that I will keep moving forward, seeing clients through a screen, and finding ways to keep pushing even though there may be no end in sight. I must do that for myself and my family, and I will do that for each and every one of my clients.
With love,
Lindsey